


In bed

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, I can't write sexy time for the life of me, Like Whoa, Murphy is kind of nice, POV Raven Reyes, Raven Reyes-centric, Raven and Murphy overthink things, a bit of whump, murven - Freeform, you'll have to imagine them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 14:24:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6288136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started as hate-sex and then changed. Murphy and Raven and their different phases: hatred, anger, sex, big amounts of denial....Canonverse Murven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In bed

Abby was patching him up again, and Raven is angry.

Ever since Murphy came back he'd being saving her, and helping her from the shadows, fighting every obstacle she had to face. He didn't do it to her face, didn't ask for credit, for recognition. Technically, she didn't even know it had been him all the time. She was supposed to think he hurt himself while working, and not when he was stopping that nomad grounder who meant to kidnap her for ransom.

She knew he was doing this out of guilt and at first she was glad he felt guilty, and wanted him to feel as worst possible but it wasn't funny anymore. She wanted to hate him, really did, and it was becoming kind of difficult when he kept getting hurt on her behalf. She wanted to fight her own battles, instead of watching from a distance how he fought his and hers. He had no right to do that, to meddle. Too little, too late.

So she told him.

"You need to stop."

He avoided her gaze and Abby looked at both of them, confused. She finished stitching a stab wound in his chest while there was a tense silence in the room, and then the doctor left them alone, asking Raven not to be too harsh, or she would undo all her hard work.

"You heard me? You need to stop. And don't the I don't know what you're talking about speech. I know it's been you and I don't appreciate having you lurking in my life, in fact, I don't appreciate having you near me at all."

"What if I refuse?" He whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"What if I refuse?" He looked at her this time, right in the face, eyes bright from pain, or emotion, Raven didn't know, but fuck those eyes were bright and intense, and looking at her and it was almost too much. "Am I supposed to be here living with what I did to you every day and do nothing? Just fucking wait for you to get another chance to get rid of me?"

"I'm not sorry about what I did." She would sell him to grounders a thousand times if she thought she could save someone she cared about.

"Well I fucking am, okay?" He was angry, angrier than she'd ever seen the guy, and it would have been scary if the bandages and stitches didn't his mobility so much. "And I'm done doing nothing about it. So you can let me try to sleep better at night or you can finish what you started and be rid of me once and for all."

He was offering her a gun. A gun so she could him, like she wanted to, like she tried to after she'd been shot, but had no bullets. She really could, and she knew she could count on people to get rid of the evidence. They could just say that Murphy had left, the same way he had come. No one would go back to find him, no one would question it.

She took the gun from him, and pointed it at his exposed chest. Just like he did when she pointed the gun at him when she tried t sacrifice him, he just looked at her, defiant. Shoot me, see if I care. Part of her really wanted to shoot him. Another part... Well, she could think of a more enjoyable and less irreversible way of letting her anger out.

So she dropped the gun, and took his face and kissed him like he'd never been kissed before. Fuck all the violence, all the hatred, all the nightmares and the bitterness. That's right. Just fuck.

It started very rough and violent, but became different at some point. Murphy was unexpectedly gentle and careful, almost slow. He searched her and the points that make her enjoy it the most, he explored her, looked at her as if she were some sort of godess. Raven ignored who was there with her, forgot about it and let herself enjoy the feel of that bony body against her, of those rough, scarred hands caressing her, and it ended up being quite probably the best sex of her life.

Much better than Wick, defintely better than Bellamy and very different to Finn. It made no sense, because where could have Murphy learnt those things? Maybe this was another way of making up for her leg and trying to sleep better.

When they finish, she doesn't feel bad or uncomfortable, when she sees him. It feels almost natural, almost pleasant. Some of Murphy's wound have reoponed, and his pants are stained with blood.

"Abby is going to be angry at you."

"She is always angry at me. Apparently I didn't take proper care of my previous injuries which makes her work now much more difficult."

"She's angry at me too, a lot."

"We're difficult people, aren't we?"

Murphy was silent for a bit, as he composed his clothes and tried to stop the trails of blood in his stomach and shoulderblade.

"I'll stop... hovering over you if it bothers you that much. I won't get involved, I'll just... leave you alone."

"As you should."

And Murphy just nodded and his eyes were so sad, so terribly, ridiculously sad, it hurt, it almost cut through her.

He kept his word and stayed away. It was her who sought him out, ten days later, for round two. He owed her this and much more.

************

They spent two months like that. Casual no feeling hatesex that felt more intimate than it should, insults, sarcasm and more sex. Murphy kept trying to make up for his past self, Raven tried to hold on to her hatred, Abby was tired of redressing his wounds, which never seemed to heal.

Sometimes, she spent longer with Murphy after they did it, just laying there, even if this was definitely not the way of casual sex. She felt great afterwards, unlike some with some her previous fuckbuddies. She felt unburdened, and free and calm. She wished her partner didn't have to John fucking Murphybut she'd learnt to live with it. It wasn't as if she was in love with him or anything. It was just sex.

Sex that was happening increasingly often.

Until that one day, when Murphy told her he wasn't feeling too good, and that he didn't want to ruin his reputation by not being 100%. And Raven found herself slightly worried about him - which was a much bigger concern that Murphy's health. Why the hell was she worried? Why did she felt the impulse to put her hand on his forehead to check for fever, call Abby so she could check on him? Had she become so dependent on his expertise in bed that she actually cared about what happened to him?

This couldn't be. So she ignored and/or avoided him for the next weeks, busy with her life, her machines, and the never ending powerplays and drama between Skaikru and the rest of the inhabitants of the earth. Put him on the back of her mind, reassure herlsef that she really didn't care about this guy, that she was as detached as she wanted to be.

She didn't see the hurt look on his eyes, the sad tears at being abandoned again. Better not to see. Better not to think, not to remember. As good as the sex may have been, it was a mistake. She deserved better than Murphy, so much better.

(Sometimes, when she was alone at night, she did kind of miss him. She wished he was here, with his irregular breathing, and his shaky hands and his blue eyes, silent but oh so very present. But she didn't admit this even to herself, couldn't)

They were done.

************************

No one else was available, so they sent Murphy to help her move some pieces and assemble a car. Everyone was very apologetic about sending him of all people, and even Murphy started the evening with a "let's get this over with". So they got to work, quietly, efficiently. Their hands touched for a moment and Raven looked at him in the eye for a moment.

He was hurt. She didn't know exactly why, if it was because she'd been going to him several times a week and she stopped, if it was because there'd been no explanation, if he thought she played with him... And maybe she should have been angry about it (did he even have the right to be hurt? She'd been pretty clear about the limits of their... deal) but she wasn't. In fact, she thought it was kind of sweet, that he cared about her and about being with her to be that hurt. That she meant that much to him.

And for a moment she decided to stop fighting herself and give in to it. And it was great, but it was different. Because they couldn't deny anymore that feelings were involved. Murphy felt something, and Raven had been with him again, despite them. Maybe even thanks to them. Which was stupid, and impossible, and probably unhealthy and if anyone found she'd judged nine ways to sunday, but who cared. Her body had made her suffer so much, it was high time it gave her joy too.

Raven in bed with Murphy, part two.

Sometimes he stayed over, slept in her bed. It had been somehow established that they didn't need to pretend it was still just hate. They'd moved past that at undefined point in the past. She liked his eyes, more than anything else. She hadn't been with anyone with blue eyes before. And his were incredibly, absurdly blue. Sadder than Finn's or Bellamy's, but no less beautiful. She liked his flat white tummy and his stupid belly button.

But of course, he was still Murphy. He still had done so many horrible things, so many horrible things to her. Had screwed up her life, mostly. He was the cause of a lot of pain and he was a murderer.

Things got a bit heated on the front lines, with internal fights between chancellors and other leaders. It had become a difficult place to be, so Raven left with Octavia, Miller and Harper and ended up being out for two weeks. Murphy had been gone when she came back. It was okay.

Perhaps part two had been the end of them. It was probably better this way.

***************

Charlie had been a janitor in the ark, not the most educated guy. But he was learning a lot now that he was down on earth, and he found himself a great teacher. Raven was practically glowing, helping him to improve his culture, helping him to feel better about himself (and feeling better herself on the way) and getting to know each other. Charlie had lost his fiance shortly after they got to earth, so she felt something similar to what she'd felt when she lost Finn.

Things were going great, they'd won their battles and everything was looking up. Personally, professionally, life was more decent than it had been in a long time. She nodded in Murphy's direction when they crossed paths, but that was as far as it went. She was kind of glad that they ended in relatively friendly terms. She kinda forgave him for her leg, he forgave her for trying to give him to the grounders. Things were decent. Not great, but decent.

Raven and Murphy, the end of an adventure that shouldn't have been.

Only it wasn't.

She was play with her food with Charlie one day, being stupidly corny, when they heard a thud. And it had been him, him with the blue eyes and the flat tummy, her guilty pleasure, her dirty secret. Murphy had collapsed on the floor behind them, without making almost a sound.

"Murphy!"

She knelt near him, trying to find out what was wrong. He was pale, too pale, and was burning up. There were some new cuts on his hands and face, and he wasn't answering to Raven's calls. No one seemed to care. She yelled Charlie to get Abby or Jackson or somebody, and continued to try to get Murphy to wake up.

Fuck.

Fuck everything.

She wanted to carry him somewhere, but couldn't walk.

_Don't do this to me. Don't you fucking dare do this me, you idiot_ .

Raven wanted to tell the medics to be careful, not to put their hands on his neck because it freaked him out, to be watchful of his cuts. Abby didn't know what was wrong with him, so she couldn't fix it. Nobody knew what had happened, nobody knew if he'd been sick before or when this had started. No one cared. Raven lay next to him, like she used to do, when they... had their thing. But now she couldn't see his eyes, those blue pools.

And she realised that this chapter wasn't over. Those stupid feelings she'd developed for that murderer were still there, and she realised that she didn't want to lose him. That all those days she'd been pretending to be happier, to be better, she'd been missing him. And he had probably been missing her too.

She remembered his lopsided smile after the first time they'd been together. We're difficult people, he had said, and boy, were they.

She caressed his sweaty face softly. She didn't really register Charlie coming and asking her something, then leaving. Or Abby telling her to go to bed, that she would tell her if something changed (but she didn't, she was already in bed).

One day passed. Some random guy came and started speaking her and to Abby being really insensitive. When Abby said that she still didn't know what was happening, and the kid even said that who cares what's wrong with him, it's just Murphy. Raven got up and crossed his face with her fist.

Another day passed.

Charlie came again and she ignored him again. She couldn't deal with that right now. She spoke with Octavia and unburdened herself. Fortunately, she didn't judge. Octavia had seen how Murphy looked at Raven when she was with Charlie. It looked bad, but she'd seen worse. And Murphy wasn't so terrible anymore, was he?

Another day passed.

She woke up with him next to her, bright blue eyes glassy with fever looking at her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, in a whisper.

"I tried to stay away. I know you're bad news, and I still deep down kind of hate you. But I saw you on the floor and fuck..."

Murphy was speechless, probably still wondering if this was a dream.

"This is wrong, but I will not fight against it anymore." Raven said. "I like your eyes."

"I like you, Raven."

"I missed you."

Raven and Murphy in bed, the real beginning of the story.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please do leave some feedback if you liked :)


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